S and I celebrated 21 years of marriage yesterday. Being in recovery has been essential to being married that long, and being married that long has been essential to being in recovery. They are inextricably connected and cannot be separated from each other.
I got into recovery because of S. She taught me about the disease of addiction. She taught me about the need for abstinence from all addictive substances. She has always supported my recovery.
Our involvement in recovery made it possible for us to get married. It has enabled us to stay married. Staying clean and sober, being actively involved in 12-Step programs, and talking to each other about the recovery process has been a vital to our marriage. Time and again working the steps and going to meetings has enabled us to work through the inevitable difficulties of living in an intimate relationship with each other.
Being married has been central to my ongoing sobriety. I have turned to S rather than alcohol and pot for support, comfort, and understanding over and over again when I have been upset.
The importance of staying together has always brought me up short when I find myself thinking that I sure would like to find out what those microbrews taste like or how much fun it would be to get stoned and go on some adventure. The joy and the delight of being so close to S have replaced the miserableness and the unhappiness of being so isolated when I was drinking and using.
So on this second day of our 22nd year together, I am deeply grateful to S and our relationship for my ongoing recovery and deeply grateful to AA, my home group, my sponsor, and all the people practicing recovery for my ongoing marriage.
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